Running-Star-Ties

[before class, spoken]
I do not know. I think I am in my mid-life crisis, trying to experience things before the bullet hits me. I just had to cram this in my relatively short life. It is not running away. Well, I technically did not come home without telling them where I was. I am sorry they had to call you to find me.
No, the situation is not really problematic. Everything is going according to plan. It is just that when the future is too certain, there is a tendency to feel constricted and each day becomes suffocating. I just wanted to escape for a while. They should not be worried. Yesterday, they might have lost sight of me, but they already know where I am going.
[during class, written]
The three of us live on separate worlds. The communication gaps span lightyears. This distance have caused isolation, but effectively prevents collisions.
Yet, different and indifferent we may be, we are pulled together by some invisible, central force. We may have our own orbits but we revolve around the same star. In this vast, empty space, we found security with each other's gravity.
[after class, unexpressed]
I wonder how it is like to move from place to place, where ties are conveniently made to be eventually broken. I wonder if I will enjoy the freedom of being responsible only to myself, and each relationship is at most, temporary. I wonder if it is possible.
Generally, I find ties to be troublesome and tedious. They can be hindrances to movement and growth. I wonder what will happen if I free myself from all the ties that bind me. I am not sure I will be happy, but obviously, everyone else will be too tied up to care.

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Case 20: Safe Answer (Part 2)

I answered it. It was a safe answer, but still stupid. And before I realized it, you called to reveal your true identity. And before I knew it, I was really angry and ashamed and I wanted to get even.
I ended the first call the moment I heard your voice. During your second call I was a bit calmer and I told you that I never wanted to see you (and our common friend, your accomplice) again. You panicked and felt guilty. That was enough revenge for me so I told you everything was fine. I was actually mad at myself.
1. First, I was angry because I lost. I was not able to pinpoint your identity. (Although you told me I gave you a difficult time fooling me.)
2. I wasted a lot of phone credits. (Although you offered to pay it back. I refused, of course.)
3. I gave an answer to that question. And what was so stupid about it was that it was an honest one. (Although you had no idea what it meant.)
In short, I got angry because I felt stupid or probably I felt angry because I got stupid. I hated your question and I hated my answer. I already explained this to our common friend a few days after that.
Well, I never did see you again after that, since you went to the US. Last April Fool's Day, I dialled your number. I was surprised to hear a ring so I cancelled immediately. I waited for a text message, a question, but it never came. When it does, I may give a different answer to "Can I be your textmate?".

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Drawing-Lalalala-Notes

[Day 1, or "Jesus and a Housefly"]
We arrived on a Friday afternoon, unsure what to expect from the Maryan Youth Camp, what would happen, and what we would do. I never went to this type of event, and now, amidst the welcoming smiles, I wondered about tonight and the next two days. Perhaps we were going to do something more than talk about Mary. We might talk about Jesus, too.
And so we did. For the first activity, we were given coloring materials. We were supposed to draw an object that symbolizes Jesus. I just love icebreakers like this, where creativity is tapped to its fullest potential. And so I drew the first thing that popped in my mind, or the thing that can be drawn with a black crayon. The explanation would just come later, I thought. Thus, I compared Jesus to housefly. I finished quickly because it was easy to draw trash. I looked at the others' drawings and sighed seeing the usual. Vines, breads, lambs, some people do lack originality. Some people also have too much of it, with symbols too abstract to be symbols. But the person I admired was the wisest among us all, hers was blank.
Everything went on smoothly, we sang "Shine, Jesus, Shine" like it was the best song ever written. Well, everything except for the sharing part. One facilitator told us "their story", and it was nothing unheard in a soap opera. I simply do not not enjoy watching people break down in public. Yet, I cannot wait for my turn to spill my own family's garbage.
[Day 2, or "Devil's Tongue"]
The next day was not very busy. I woke up early to avoid the line for the use of the bathroom, and was able to breathe some morning fresh air inside the concrete jungle. I generally hate mornings, but this one was fine.
We were separated into groups and did mostly sharings. Hearing "their stories" made my life seem perfect. I wanted to tell a sob story also so not to feel left out. I practiced by telling two people "our story" first and I was surprised it made one teary-eyed. Later, the other aped my bullet-to-the-head tick. I was able to share "our story" successfully, although it would have been better if I had cried a little.
That night, the facilitators prepared something special for us. Each one of us was to enter a room where we choose among the gifts of the Holy Spirit to ask for. One was the gift to speak in tongues. As I remember their explanation, the devil can speak in any language except in tongues. Letting people in one by one took a while so when my turn came, I was already very sleepy. As I sat on a chair, my facilitator asked me to repeat after him. "Lalalala..." I hesitated at first, but then, with a lot of encouragement I did it. "Lalalala..." My facilitator started to pray over me. "...lalalala..." He mentioned bits from "our story" "...lalalala..." For a brief moment I paused to breathe. "Lalalala..." I heard that some people got possessed while doing this and spoke in a foreign language. "...lalalala..." Some spoke in Chinese even though they do not know a single word of it. "...lalalala..." And so I wished to get possessed also and speak in Latin, Hebrew, Greek, or any dead language. "...lalalala..." I was tempted to speak in Capampangan.
[Day 3, or "Angel Costume"]
"Suppose when you go home, you find your parents' bodies in caskets. What did you fail to tell them before they died?" And so the crying began. Except for me. I also found another laughing. "Well, you can tell them now. Surprise! Your parents are here!" Except for mine. And all of those from Pampanga. Instead, our teacher gave us letters from our parents. Except for me. The letter she gave me was not written by my parents, but by her. My mother has a difficulty writing letters, (which ironically, was the subject of "our story"). I read the letter, and felt the sadness I longed to feel.
After a Mass, and the distribution of certificates, tokens and kits, we said goodbye to new acquaintances. With that, I remembered old friends. Before going straight home, we stopped by the mall where we bought the three bears. Mine was wearing a Halloween outfit while yours was in toga.
I arrived home wondering if I would remember what happened and what we did during these three days. I wondered how many people there would we meet again in the future. I read the notes I received from them, (we had something like pigeonholes where we could stuff in messages). Perhaps I would forget. Perhaps we would never meet again. I have lost all of the physical evidence now, the certificates, the tokens, the kits, the letter, the notes. Fortunately, I still have the bear in an angel costume.

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Case 19: Trick Question (Part 1)

"Can I be your textmate?" I have pulled a number of pranks on friends using this method of posing as a secret admirer and then laughing at their reactions when they found out it was only me. So when one april fool's day you sent me that message, I took it as challenge. It was a battle of wits between two pranksters.
I was out that time with my blockmates. I had no idea who you were but after a few questions and a lot of SMS sent, I was able to extract some information.
1. A common friend told you I was at the beach. Since at least twenty people knew that, that limited the number of possible suspects. (Although you claimed seeing me at the beach, you were not able to answer when I asked you what was I wearing.)
2. I met you during college. (You referred to me as "Dan Gamboa".)
3. You study at UP Diliman. I knew this since I found out who our common friend was. (I texted both of you conflicting stories, and you insisted I was lying.)
That narrowed down the list to four names, but I cannot pinpoint which one. I decided to cheat by asking other common friends about your number. It seemed that you were one step ahead of me because they denied my request. Well, I guess I just had to be contented, and I was happy with that until you sent me that question.
It was a trick question that should not be answered. And in an instant of stupidity I forgot that this was only a prank. It was a trap and I fell for it.

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