Knee

Standing up from sleeping or sitting too long, I often feel uncomfortable tightness in my knees. I get the urge to twist/realign them, and then you may hear a sound bit similar to knuckles cracked. But along with that urge is the fear of dislocating/unhinging them, so each pop is always followed by a sigh of relief.
Life is beset with these type of situations: taking risks. These are actions that may either lead to relief or more pain. The only way to get rid of the nagging discomfort is to do it. One may try delaying it indefinitely, but the uneasiness becomes too unbearable that even pain seems a relief. In short, taking risks is unavoidable. So if you are a coward like me, you do it with a mindset that losing is still winning.
I did just that again this week. I took a risk completely prepared for the worst case scenario. In fact, I was hoping for it. It still is an unpleasant outcome, but it is preferred to the status quo. Some say the logic is too contrived to make any sense and even consider it not taking a risk at all. I say anything that can push me to move forward is welcome. I like to think this better than your bipolar disorder/self-destructive tendency excuse. Now that is contrived.
In any case, it would be not much worse than our current situation. I failed to take that risk years ago with you and we are now stuck in this limbo of nonevent and pretense. So if and when I break a knee, you will now know I was aiming for it.

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