Case 17: Lacking Affection
A few weeks ago, I got the results of one of the guidance tests I took. I think it was the FIRO-B™ test, short for Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation-Behavior. It basically explains how a person relates to others based on their needs of inclusion, control, and affection. It supposedly measures (in a scale of 0-9, 9 being the highest)how much these three are "wanted" from and "expressed" to others. Surprisingly, I got a zero for expressing affection.
I was surprised not because I disagree with the results. Some people even say that it was typical of me. I admit, expressing affection is never my forte. I was particularly surprised because it is zero, which seems like I do not express any affection at all. And that bothered me a bit. I looked for explanations.
How does one normally express affection? If the answer is through simple acts of kindness, thoughtful gestures, and caring words, then yes, I do not express any affection at all, normally.
Does one technically express affection without the knowledge of the object of affection? Obviously not. That is why it is impossible to love (the Scott Peck kind) a rock, a goldfish or someone unaware of it.
Can one express affection without feeling affection? I guess it has to be sincere or at least, voluntary. Otherwise, that is an incredibly unselfish act. Or, that is merely a scheme in the plot of Cruel Intentions 4.
And so, I concluded, the test was correct. And you were right.
Split.
I scored 5 for wanting affection. I am in middle-ground, which means, I would like to live with it, but would rather live without it.
I was surprised not because I disagree with the results. Some people even say that it was typical of me. I admit, expressing affection is never my forte. I was particularly surprised because it is zero, which seems like I do not express any affection at all. And that bothered me a bit. I looked for explanations.
How does one normally express affection? If the answer is through simple acts of kindness, thoughtful gestures, and caring words, then yes, I do not express any affection at all, normally.
Does one technically express affection without the knowledge of the object of affection? Obviously not. That is why it is impossible to love (the Scott Peck kind) a rock, a goldfish or someone unaware of it.
Can one express affection without feeling affection? I guess it has to be sincere or at least, voluntary. Otherwise, that is an incredibly unselfish act. Or, that is merely a scheme in the plot of Cruel Intentions 4.
And so, I concluded, the test was correct. And you were right.
Split.
I scored 5 for wanting affection. I am in middle-ground, which means, I would like to live with it, but would rather live without it.
dan_boa made you sneeze at 5:23 AM
2 Comments:
Does one technically express affection without the knowledge of the object of affection? Obviously not. That is why it is impossible to love a rock, a goldfish or someone unaware of it.
Can one express affection without feeling affection?
well, i know it's weird, but yes, one can actually express affection without feeling affection. it doesn't have to be reciprocated...
dba?
=p
hm..i seem to remember a particular instance when i thought you were a bit affectionate. or maybe you were just very hungry then and desperately needed someone to eat lunch with you..
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